Part Time Lover........
...so this is what its come to then...this is what six months of thnakless work, bad pay, long distance romance and numerous watery coffees do to u...ur reduced to keeping online journals for solace...oh well...just another day in the life of sisyphus...
i guess the good news is i can chumma sign out n leave wen i want to...thats abt the only good thing the nets done for u isnt it...?people say its made the world a smaller place...wt its actually done is its made ur world smaller...ur oyster now consists of 20gb of music, a mouse and the cold embrace of the computer screen...n for the commitment-freaks ( a tv-term! did freud or ayn rand define commitment-freakism in any of thier psycho-analogy?), theres always the added enticement of a commitment free relationship...no messy breakups, no awkward bumping-into's at a common hang-out later...when u think uve had enough, when uve exhausted all ur possibilities, u simply disconnect...its as easy as that...technology and the introverted-its a marriage made in heaven...or frankenstein's lab...depending on how u choose to look at it...i have to say the arrangement suits me...dont take offence dear diary...but i will leave u one day...for the welcoming arms of love...or the nihilistic highs of mortality...but ull nevr complain will u ol' girl...? no u werent programmed to do that...u wouldnt miss me if i found somebody else...u wouldnt shed silent tears or scream or shout or reminisce over the good times we shared-solitaire sessions n pornography...u would simply move on...maybe place an ad for another lonely soul...but u know u'll get left behind again dont u...? so will i...ur advantage being closure (another tv-term! ironic isnt it?) while i beat myself up n dip myself in whisky or drugs begging to be taken back...no ud nver let urself be lowered to that...but im only human aftr all...truth be said, i think its been a lovely evening...the best as far as first dates go...u always know what ud like to order or wch movie ud like to see...none of that "u decide,, no no u decide, really" bullshit...n i love u for it...but in the words of joy divison..."love will tear us apart..." goodnite baby...